Time to be set free

Now that things have slowed slightly over this past year and I'm able to catch my breath. I'm able to reflect and finally express my feelings with some clarity.This has been a long over due conversation with myself and anyone in my family and friend circle to hear.  A whole year has passed since my sweet girl Ayla came into this world. I feel it's time to express what's my heart has been dying too for 365 days. My daughter, my life, my miracle, was born with Down Syndrome. (Ok.  that wasn't so hard)  It has taken me this long to share with most of my circle of friends and family because I have never wanted her to be judged or to be looked at any differently then any other child. I wanted to protect her from this world and all it's negativity. I understand now that it was my own insecurity, not Ayla diagnoses that was holding me back. But the fact is she is different. Not for the obvious reasons one might think of when they think of Down Syndrome. What I have learned in the past year is Ayla is smart and sweet, smiles (alot) , giggles as any child does. But she is also stands apart by her beautiful Brush Field Spots. They look like flakes of diamonds that just radiate off her blue iris's. And those eyes, those amazing almond shaped eyes that have pieced my soul when I gaze into them. I love all her little features, her smaller size fingers and toes. To her cute ears that I love to nibble one.  She alone has opened my heart in ways I never thought possible. She has given back to me a part that I thought would be lost forever. It's taken some time to get to this place. This certainly has not been an easy rode to journey on. Far from it in fact. There are days to be honest where I hate Down Syndrome, I see my new friends dealing with many many terrible things that having an extra chromosome can cause. It's heart wrenching to see and can bring me to tears instantly.  And even still today I deal with too many too count sleepiness nights wondering what the future holds for my girl. To the unforeseen health issues she can be faced with in the future. To dealing with the few health concerns she has right now. But through all of it I have gained prospective on what this life is all about. Always treasure the little things. Always.This diagnoses has taken me through my most darkest days, with the lightning fast learning curve your confronted with at birth, to all the Countless doctor appointments, in-home and out-home specialists appointments.
                                                

   I know it's very easy to say "I wouldn't change a thing" now that she has come into my life, but IF I could, knowing what I know now, that DS is not the end of anything but the beginning of something grand, I won't change her!!. She is perfect. I hope that my strength continues to grow. I hope the people closest to my family will want to share in this journey with us. Want to learn more about DS and begin to learn what I have learned that Ds is NOT a abnormality OR imperfection. And all the other negative stereo types and description of  Down Syndrome that are out there.. And if they were every presented with the honor of raising a child with a special needs that it wouldn't  be a burden but a true blessing. So there you have it, the beginning of my story or rather Ms A's story. This is our journey, no two paths are ever the same. I want to continue  to blog about my feeling on Ds and my  families daily activities.  I dedicated this blog to little miss sunshine, my son G man and my incredibly devoted husband that has been through every bit of the tears, pain, fears and unknowns with me and for keeping me from sinking from this crazy whirlwind of a year!